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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22662697">Loneliness is suffocating</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/RensSaxophone/pseuds/RensSaxophone'>RensSaxophone</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Uta no Prince-sama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 15:35:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,173</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22662697</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/RensSaxophone/pseuds/RensSaxophone</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ichinose Tokiya/Kurosaki Ranmaru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Loneliness is suffocating</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ranmaru would scowl at the doll, sitting on his counter. It was creepy, to say the least. It was a very pale porcelain doll- a boy. It looked like something out of a horror movie, but part of Ranmaru’s distaste for it had come from the reason he had actually gotten it. </p><p>Ranmaru wasn’t the type to fall for dumb stories, and he hadn’t asked about this one. </p><p>But there had been a couple with a child, looking at the doll. It’s face was cracked, and the crack traveled down to it’s arm, it’s glassy eyes not quite blank enough for a doll. It was probably beautiful, once. But it’s black hair was messy and it looked so fragile that Ranmaru was surprised it could even be picked up without breaking apart. </p><p>It was a thrift store, but the doll looked like it could be in an antique shop. Ranmaru had happened to listen in to one of the workers explaining a bit about the doll, one of the few items that was behind glass and not just thrown in a bin. </p><p>“We’ve had this doll for years. People always seem to bring him back. He used to be a collectors item.” The woman would explain. </p><p>“How was it broken?” The dad would ask, looking at it. Ranmaru could tell already that they weren’t going to get it. He just see it on their face- but the woman explaining the story was older and they didn’t want to just dismiss the older woman. </p><p>“He’s been passed down to quite a few children.” She looks almost hesitant, but she’d let out a slightly strained laugh. “I’ve had people tell me that he’s haunted. I personally think those stories are silly- but I’ve heard it a lot.” </p><p>“Our daughter is a bit young for a glass doll. Especially with the danger of it breaking.” The mom would apologize, beginning to distance herself from the woman. </p><p>The woman’s smile is almost sad. “Of course.”</p><p>Ranmaru has no idea why he walks up to the display when the couple have left, but he takes a closer look at the doll. Ranmaru had never been into toys. He was hardly into toys even when he was an actual kid. </p><p>“Lonely looking, isn’t he?” The woman would ask. Ranmaru would look around the case. It was true that the doll was the only one of its kind in the case. Everything else was just casual, more expensive junk. </p><p>“Sure it’s overpriced. For bein’ broken and old.” Ranmaru’s voice is almost a bit dry. </p><p>“He’s only ten dollars, actually.” The woman would say, and that would make Ranmaru glance over, raising an eyebrow. “I could take him out, to let you see him.” She would offer. </p><p>“Awful desperate to get rid of him.” Ranmaru would say gruffly. </p><p>“I just hate to see him gathering dust in a display is all.” Ranmaru hadn’t said no, so she would unlock the case. “He’s full of character, and he’s charming, don’t you think? At least let him properly introduce himself.” Her smile is kind, and she handles the doll so carefully that when Ranmaru takes the doll, though hesitantly, he’s just as gentle. </p><p>He’d examine the doll, his expression guarded. Something about it made him… sad. Ranmaru’s jaw would grit, staring at the broken doll in his hands, and he’d click his tongue, watching the woman warily. “Ten bucks?”</p><p>“Ten bucks.” She’d smile. </p><p>Ranmaru would take the doll home. He wasn’t the type to spend money on a whim, but something about this doll had gotten to him, for whatever reason. He had set the doll on his counter. </p><p>Haunted. Ranmaru would roll his eyes, heading further into his apartment. He definitely didn’t believe that. It was the lonely comment that had gotten him, though it’s too ridiculous for him to admit. </p><p>When Ranmaru had gone to sleep, everything had been fine. It would have been later that night, when Ranmaru would have woken himself to go to the bathroom, when he would have seen a figure crossing the doorway. Ranmaru would have woken up, grabbing his pocket knife from his bedside table. </p><p>Ranmaru didn’t have any plans to <i>actually</i> stab anyone, but he didn’t make it a habit to keep weapons around his house, and he’s a lot more threatening, carrying a knife. He’d go out of his room, carefully, and he’d turn on the lights. Just as the lights come on, he would clearly see the back of a man, but when the lights finally click on, there isn’t anyone in the apartment. He’d search the place, in every corner, but there isn’t anyone there. He’d get quiet, but he’d go to the bathroom and head to bed. He doesn’t sleep well that night. </p><p>The next morning, he still hasn’t forgotten his imaginary visitor, but he’d go about his day as he always did. He’d go to his job as a bass instructor, and he’d come home and make himself dinner. “Lonely.” He’d mumble, looking at the doll. He’d click his tongue at himself and head into his living room to eat. </p><p>That night, he’s visited again. It’s the same story. He’d grab his knife when he sees the figure pass his room, and he’d turn on the lights to see the figure disappear. </p><p>This would happen for three nights. </p><p>On the fourth, Ranmaru wouldn’t turn on the lights. </p><p>The man wouldn’t disappear, in the dark. He wouldn’t turn, his back facing Ranmaru. The man is standing at the end of the hallway and the entrance to the living area. His head seems to be turned, towards the doll. </p><p>“Hey.” Ranmaru’s voice is almost a bark, and the man would start. Ranmaru would exit his room, but when he gets close, the man has disappeared. “Damnitt.” Ranmaru would scowl. </p><p>He wasn’t sure what was going on, but something wasn’t right. </p><p>The next night, Ranmaru would try to beat the figure, moving to intercept it before it crossed his doorway. He had seen the shadows crossing the cracked door, but when he opens the door to wait, he’s faced with the man- facing him from outside of his door. </p><p>“Shit!” Ranmaru would have stumbled back, falling. </p><p>Ranmaru had gotten a glance at the man, but not well, in the dark. His face seemed blank, but his glassy eyes almost shone in the dark. There was something wrong, but from the floor, Ranmaru could only see the shadows crossing his face. He’d just stand there, looking at Ranmaru. </p><p>It was the first time the figure had really addressed Ranmaru. </p><p>“Who the fuck are you?” Ranmaru would ask, his voice aggravated. He was sick of losing sleep over this. The man wouldn’t speak. He’d almost robotically turn, walking towards the end of Ranmaru’s hallway. </p><p>Ranmaru would ignore him the next night, and the night after that. </p><p>Ranmaru would begin to turn his back towards the door. He knew the man was in the doorframe. </p><p>He thought the man was in the doorframe. </p><p>He had made the mistake, on the third night, of not facing away from the door. He had opened his eyes, after hearing a noise, and the man had made his way in front of Ranmaru’s bed. </p><p>Ranmaru was not normally afraid- but the man was hovering over him, and he had finally seen what was wrong with the man. Half of his face was cracked, as if it were made of glass. The crack had gone down his neck, seeming to head towards his arm. The man was too pale, and his dark hair was matted. His eyes were glassy, and focused on Ranmaru. There was something familiar about him, but it wasn’t quite bright enough for Ranmaru to connect the dots. Ranmaru would find himself frozen for a very long time, until the man would finally turn. By the time Ranmaru had regained himself, he’d get out of bed, and he’d turn on the lights in the house. He would make his way to the counter, where the doll was still sitting, and he’d narrow his eyes. </p><p>Ranmaru was exhausted. He hadn’t slept well in over a week. He’d drop his elbows on the counter, and he’d cover his face. “I just wanna sleep.” He’d groan. Was he really desperate enough to talk to a doll? He was. </p><p>Ranmaru was a skeptical person. He didn’t believe in spirits, and ghosts, and curses. But he wasn’t naive, either. Something strange was going on, and the doll was the only thing in his life he had changed. </p><p>“What do you need me to do. I’m at a total fuckin’ loss here.” Ranmaru would sigh, finally picking himself up from the counter. He’d give the doll another long glance, and he’d head back to bed. When he wakes up from his iffy sleep, he’d notice that the doll was in his room. </p><p>If that’s where it wanted to be, Ranmaru guesses he’d leave it. </p><p>Ranmaru had been planning to sleep early that night, but he’s interrupted by a knock on his door. He’d sigh, answering it, and he’d blink when he’d see Tokiya. </p><p>“I’m sorry to just drop by. I tried to message you to let you know I was going to drop by, but you haven’t been answering any of my messages.”</p><p>Ranmaru would wince. He had <i>seen</i> Tokiya’s messages, but he had swiped them off of his screen with a plan to answer them later. Clearly, he hadn’t gotten to it. Tokiya would step his way into Ranmaru’s apartment, closing the door behind himself. He’d look closely at Ranmaru’s face, and he’d frown, his eyebrows furrowing. “You look terrible, Ran. Are you okay?”</p><p>“‘M fine. Just been having some trouble sleeping.” Ranmaru’s voice is an almost embarrassed mumble. </p><p>“<i>You’ve</i> been having trouble sleeping?” Tokiya sounds worried, not incredulous. </p><p>“It’s nothing you need ‘t worry yourself over.” </p><p>“Well, I’d like to. What’s been keeping you up?” </p><p>Ranmaru’s ears would go a bit red as he’d click his tongue and look away, not quite meeting Tokiya’s eyes. His lack of response would worry Tokiya. </p><p>“There’s nothing you could say that I would judge you on. I promise.”</p><p>“Just some dumb nightmares. Been seein’ fake people walkin’ through the apartment. ‘S been keepin’ me on edge, is all.”</p><p>“Allow me to stay the night. Maybe having someone else may set your mind at ease.”</p><p>“No.” Ranmaru’s eyes would snap back to Tokiya’s. He didn’t understand what was going on- but he didn’t think they were nightmares. Whatever it was hadn’t hurt him, but what if something happened to Tokiya? Ranmaru didn’t have many friends as it was- and Tokiya was a… special friend. He didn’t want anything to happen.</p><p>Tokiya would frown. “Ran-” His voice is gentle, but almost warning. “If I were to tell you what you told me, wouldn’t you want to do the same?”</p><p>“Would <i>you</i> let me?”</p><p>“Would <i>you</i> let me deny you?” Tokiya would shoot back. </p><p>Ranmaru’s jaw would set, but Tokiya had managed to win this one. Ranmaru just had to hope that nothing would happen. He’d make sure nothing happened. </p><p>“Why don’t we get you lying down?”</p><p>Ranmaru would grunt. He couldn’t say that it was too early, because he was clearly already in his sleep clothes, and he was planning to sleep now anyways. Tokiya would follow Ranmaru to his room. Ranmaru would raise an eyebrow. </p><p>“Well, I wouldn’t be much help with nightmares if I couldn’t see you having them.” Tokiya would explain. “You have a chair in your room. I’ll sleep there.”</p><p>“Don’t be stupid. It’s a wooden chair.”</p><p>“I’ve slept in worse places.”</p><p>“I’ve got a king bed.” Ranmaru would grunt. “‘S fuckin’ huge. Could probably fit three people in it without touching. Just sleep there.”</p><p>“Alright.” Tokiya would give. Ranmaru would head to his drawers to pick out some comfortable clothes. Tokiya was in a blazer and slacks. Ranmaru wouldn’t want to sleep in that. “Thank you.” Tokiya would bow his head, just a bit, but his eyes have been drawn to the doll. </p><p>Tokiya would head towards it, and Ranmaru’s warning comes before he even registers that he’s said it. “Careful with that.”</p><p>“Of course.” Tokiya would reassure. He is gentle, taking down the doll and examining it. Tokiya’s face would change a bit, as he looks at the doll, but Ranmaru would catch it. </p><p>“What?”</p><p>“It just…” Tokiya would go a bit red, but he’d turn the doll to look at Ranmaru. “In a vague sort of way- do you think it… reminds you of anyone?”</p><p>Ranmaru would narrow his eyes, looking at the doll, and then his eyes would widen a bit. He’d realize just what he couldn’t piece together last night. Just exactly who the man had looked like. “It looks like you.” Ranmaru would say quietly. “What’re the fuckin’ chances.”</p><p>Tokiya would carefully put it back on the shelf. “It’s a shame that it’s broken. Maybe we could go visit a few shops on our next consecutive day off to see if anyone could fix it.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Ranmaru would watch Tokiya closely. “Maybe.”</p><p>Tokiya would go to get dressed, and Ranmaru wouldn’t lie down yet. His face would go a bit red, but he’d move closer to the doll, and he’d talk quietly. He feels crazy, but it wouldn’t stop him. “Look just… I don’t know what ya want, or what you’re tryin’ ‘t get from me just… one night. Just while he’s here. Please don’t do anything.” </p><p>“Were you saying something?” Tokiya would ask, walking into the room. Ranmaru would step away from the doll quickly, clicking his tongue.</p><p> “Ya must be hearin’ things.” Tokiya would glance at the doll, but Ranmaru thinks he sees a small smile. </p><p>“Why don’t ‘cha sleep closer ‘t the wall? If you’re not uncomfortable with that.” If anything happens, he’d rather be closer to the door. He’d rather be in between the man and Tokiya, should it come to that. </p><p>“Alright. I don’t have a preference.” Tokiya would climb into the bed, but he’d be stopped by something lying in the place he was trying to get to. Ranmaru would cover his face with a hand when Tokiya holds up a stuffed bear. </p><p>“Oh God.” Ranmaru would mumble. Tokiya can see that his neck to his ears is flushed a bright red. </p><p>Tokiya would smile. “It’s cute. There’s no shame in it. Does he have a name?” </p><p>Normally, Ranmaru would be defensive- but Tokiya doesn’t sound like he’s teasing Ranmaru. It would lead Ranmaru to answer. “Christopher.” He’d mumble. </p><p>“Christopher. I like it.” Tokiya would lie Christopher down, towards the middle of the bed, but Tokiya’s <i>next</i> discovery would make him laugh. “And him?” </p><p>Ranmaru would glance over, and he’d let out an almost relieved chuckle when he sees what Tokiya is referring to. “Orchid.” Ranmaru would move, kneeling on the bed and leaning past Tokiya to scoop up the sleepy black cat. “‘Ve got a tabby named Rose around here somewhere, but she’s a ‘lil shy.” </p><p>Tokiya’s smile remains. “I’m sure I’ll meet her eventually. I figured you had cats, but I’m surprised I haven’t seen either of them yet.”</p><p>“Yeah, they’re hiders.” Tokiya didn’t <i>often</i> come over, because Ranmaru didn’t often let people into his home. Tokiya was the only exception, but even that was barely. They did meet often outside of the house, and at Tokiya’s home more than Ranmaru’s. Ranmaru wouldn’t make a comment about Tokiya’s first comment. He doesn’t want to assume that Tokiya’s really going to come back over. </p><p>Once Tokiya has settled in, Ranmaru would climb onto the other edge of the bed. </p><p>“Goodnight, Ran. Feel free to wake me up if you have a nightmare.”</p><p>“Thanks, Toki. G’night.”</p><p>Ranmaru would be out quickly. He was still on edge, but admittedly less so with Tokiya near him. He’d manage to sleep through the night, though he’d admit that he wasn’t necessarily happy to see Tokiya off in the morning. Of course, he wouldn’t let that on. </p><p>That night, it was worse. Ranmaru would wake up to the man hovering over Ranmaru’s face, and his expression is almost angry. </p><p>Ranmaru was right. It did remind him of Tokiya. </p><p>Maybe that’s why Ranmaru’s first response wasn’t to attack him. Ranmaru would be frozen, again. Watching. The man wouldn’t move, hovering inches from Ranmaru’s face. Ranmaru could feel his heart pound against his chest. Ranmaru wasn’t often afraid. </p><p>The very next day, Ranmaru had decided he was done. He would have snatched the doll, and he would have gone outside, and he would have thrown it away. When Tokiya texted him later, he would have swiped the message off of his screen. </p><p>It had been a question about how his nightmares were faring. </p><p>Tokiya would have texted again, and Ranmaru would have glanced at the screen. Tokiya had offered to stay with Ranmaru again, if it would help. He would have said that Ranmaru’s radio silence made him nervous. </p><p>Ranmaru would tell Tokiya that he didn’t need to worry about. He hadn’t had another nightmare. </p><p>Ranmaru would open the apartment to find the doll, on the counter. The cracks seemed to be worse. </p><p>That night, Ranmaru would wake up to a cold, porcelain hand, gripping his throat. Ranmaru would spend a moment, clawing at the hand. The pretty, pale face was twisted into an angry, almost enraged expression, and Ranmaru would fumble, trying to find his phone. There were tears in his eyes, and he was struggling to breathe. </p><p>It was midnight, but he’d still dial Tokiya’s number. When the phone light had hit the man, he had disappeared. Ranmaru was afraid. </p><p>He was afraid that if he turned off his phone, the man would return. Ranmaru would hang up on the second ring, scolding himself. He shouldn’t bother Tokiya. He’d get up, turning on the lights. </p><p>In the morning, Ranmaru would have two missed calls and a few texts from Tokiya, all concerned about the strange call last night. Ranmaru would assure Tokiya that he was fine, and had just accidentally dialed Tokiya. </p><p>That night, Ranmaru would sleep with the light on. He’d see the man, glaring at him from the doorway. </p><p>“What did I do?” Ranmaru would ask, aggravated. He could almost feel the hand on his throat, though there were no marks when he had checked that morning. Ranmaru would get up, walking closer to the door. The one day of sleep wasn’t enough to make up for his lack of sleep again. “Why are you so pissed at me?” </p><p>The man wouldn’t speak to him, but the glare wouldn’t lighten. </p><p>“Why do you look like Tokiya?” Ranmaru’s voice would get quieter. </p><p>The man’s expression would soften, but only just a bit, when he heard Tokiya’s name. Ranmaru would go back to the bed. </p><p>The next night, the man is back in the doorway, his expression almost dangerous. Ranmaru can’t lie down, and he can’t ignore him. He’s afraid. He can’t look away. </p><p>And then- the power would go out. </p><p>There had been a storm that night, and the only thing lighting up the room were the occasional lightning strikes. That’s how Ranmaru could see the man, approaching him in the room. Ranmaru would be frozen, until he’d feel a sharp pain against his throat. The man’s hand had once again grasped his throat, but it was the cracked and broken hand, and the glass was cutting into Ranmaru’s skin. When Ranmaru felt the blood begin to trail down his neck, it would spur him to call Tokiya, but to stay on the phone, his free hand pressing against the cuts on his neck. </p><p>“Ran?” Tokiya’s voice is tired. “What’s wrong?”</p><p>Ranmaru’s jaw would flex, and then relax. He’d let out a shaky breath, and his voice sounds almost childlike. “I’m scared, Toki.” </p><p>Tokiya would be shocked into silence, but when he speaks, his voice is purely concerned. “Do you want me to come over?”</p><p>Ranmaru would give some silence himself. If he didn’t want Tokiya, why would he have called him? Why would he tell Tokiya no right now? It wouldn’t stop Ranmaru from almost dismissing it. From telling Tokiya that Ranmaru was just being stupid, and that Tokiya doesn’t need to worry about it. “Would you?”</p><p>“Give me five minutes. I’ll be right over.”</p><p>“...Thanks.”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>Ranmaru doesn’t want to get off of the phone, but he would. The man is there, standing in the doorway. Even from a distance, Ranmaru can actually hear a dripping sound. He can see the occasional drop of his blood, spilling from the hand of the man. </p><p>The man doesn’t seem angry. </p><p>He’s smiling. </p><p>When there’s a knock on the door, the man would disappear. Ranmaru would make his way to the door. </p><p>Tokiya would let himself in as soon as the door is open, and even in the dark, Ranmaru can see Tokiya’s eyebrows furrowed. Tokiya would turn on the lights before Ranmaru could tell Tokiya that they were out, but they’d come on. Tokiya would look horrified, his eyes landing on Ranmaru’s neck. “Jesus, Ran, what happened?” Tokiya’s hand would fall on the uninjured side of Ranmaru’s neck. “Do you have a first aid kit?”</p><p>“It’s in the bathroom.” Ranmaru would mumble. Tokiya would carefully lead him further into the apartment. Tokiya would still, for just a second, and Ranmaru would see him watching the doll. There’s red, covering the dolls hand. Tokiya would regain himself and continue leading Ranmaru to the bathroom. Tokiya would set him on the toilet seat after turning on the light, and he’d crouch down, searching through the drawers until he had found the med kit. </p><p>“This might hurt.” Tokiya would warn, as he’d begin to take care of the wound. Tokiya wouldn’t quite have finished bandaging it when Ranmaru would have leaned forward, resting his head on Tokiya’s shoulder and letting his eyes close. “I’m sure you’re tired.” Tokiya’s voice is gentle. “But I need to finish taking care of you. And then we can go lie down, alright?”</p><p>Ranmaru would blink slowly, and he’d lean back. He wasn’t completely alright. He was shaken, and even Tokiya would notice how he kept glancing at the door, but he was better, with Tokiya with him. </p><p>Tokiya would place the bandages. “I really want to know what happened.” Tokiya would admit. “But we can save that for tomorrow morning. You look exhausted. You haven’t been sleeping, have you?” Tokiya sounds sad. </p><p>“Not really, no.” Ranmaru would admit. It was hard to keep his eyes open. </p><p>“Let’s just go get you some sleep.” Tokiya would lead Ranmaru into his bedroom, and Ranmaru would try his lightswitch. Luckily, the lights would turn on. </p><p>“Would ya mind if I kept the lights on?” Ranmaru would mumble. Tokiya looks a bit surprised, but his answer comes quick. </p><p>“Of course not. We can leave the lights on.” He’d assure. </p><p>Tokiya would actually wait for Ranmaru to climb into the furthest end of the bed, and Ranmaru wouldn’t mind. He’d get into the bed, and he’d curl in on himself, and he’d close his eyes. He’d feel Tokiya, rubbing his back, before he had fallen asleep. </p><p>The next morning, Ranmaru feels groggy, and his neck is sore. He’d turn on his back, looking at the ceiling, before turning to look at Tokiya. Tokiya is still in the bed, and he’s still asleep. Ranmaru wouldn’t wake him up. Tokiya would eventually wake up on his own, and he’d rub at his eyes, trying to fully wake himself up. “Are you okay, Ran?”</p><p>Ranmaru would frown. “Sorry ‘bout last night.” He’d mumble. “Was probably a ‘lil overdramatic.” </p><p>“Don’t be sorry. I’m glad I came. Especially because you were hurt. What happened?”</p><p>“You’d think I was nuts if I told ya.” Ranmaru would sigh. </p><p>“Try me. Please.”</p><p>“Y’know that doll? I’ve been seein’ it. I heard some bullshit story about how it was haunted, and I brought it home anyways. Started seein’ things, walking around the apartment. Night after you left it started looking pissed. Kept gettin’ worse, ‘til the night before when it tried to kill me. Cut me last night.” Ranmaru would glare at the ceiling. “Was smilin’ at me, though, when I called you.” Ranmaru would start to get quiet, and his voice would drop. It sounds distant. “Only seems to come for me when I’m… alone.” Ranmaru’s eyebrows would furrow, but it feels like an epiphany. </p><p>The doll was lonely. The doll was messing with him when Ranmaru was all alone- and it looked like <i>Tokiya</i>. It was happy when he called Tokiya, and didn’t show up at all when Tokiya spent the first night. </p><p>Could it actually be trying to help?</p><p>Ranmaru hadn’t yet fully admitted it to himself, but he got the doll because the woman had said it was lonely. That was something that Ranmaru could relate to. </p><p>“You’re sure?” Tokiya would ask. “That it’s the doll?”</p><p>“I told you it sounds crazy.”</p><p>“It sounds less crazy coming from you.” Tokiya would admit. “If you’re sure about it- I believe you.”</p><p>Ranmaru would turn his head, narrowing his eyes. “Really?”</p><p>Tokiya would give a slightly strained smile. It doesn’t seem to be a disbelieving or pitying smile- though it comes across as a bit awkward. Then again, this is hardly an easy situation to smile about. “Really.”</p><p>Ranmaru would watch the ceiling. His voice is incredibly strained, and embarrassed. “I don’t really wanna stay alone right now.” He’d admit. Ranmaru would rub his face with a hand. “I… can’t believe I’m askin’ this, so feel free ‘t say no, but would ya mind if I stayed with you for a bit? I’ll sleep on the floor if ya need me to.”</p><p>“I… was actually going to suggest the opposite.” Tokiya’s face is a bit red. “I was going to ask if I could stay here. It’s a bit bigger than my place- and of course, you have cats, and a far bigger bed. Unless you’re uncomfortable staying here.”</p><p>“We can stay here.” Ranmaru would honestly prefer it. He does prefer sleeping in a bed. And he can’t say he minds sharing one with Tokiya. </p><p>Ranmaru wouldn’t see the man for a very long time. In that time span, he and Tokiya shared an apartment, and even shared a bed. Neither man had outwardly admitted that they noticed the space in the bed slowly closing. That they had been sharing some soft moments, or deep conversations or meaningful glances. </p><p>Neither man had admitted their feelings until they had found themselves lip locked on the couch in the living room. The space in the bed had become nonexistent, with Ranmaru often draping his arm across Tokiya’s waist. Tokiya often asked if Ranmaru was seeing anything, but he never seemed to. </p><p>One night, Tokiya had gone out with friends, and Ranmaru was a bit nervous. But of course, he wasn’t going to stop Tokiya. </p><p>He’d see the man, his shadow crossing over the cracked door. He was too quiet to be Tokiya. Ranmaru would stand, opening the door. He sees the man’s back, facing him, but Ranmaru’s heart pounds nervously when the man turns around. </p><p>His expression isn’t angry, or blank. There’s a small smile, on his cracked face. He’d disappear. Ranmaru would sleep, the rest of that night. </p><p>The next day, Ranmaru would walk down the line of shops, holding Tokiya’s hand loosely in his own. Tokiya was looking through the glass of the shop windows. “Here’s one.” Tokiya would suggest. They’d turn into the doll repair shop, and would head to the desk. Ranmaru would pull the doll out from the canvas bag he had been using to carry it, and he’d lay it on the counter. </p><p>“Can ya fix it?”</p><p>“It will be a bit difficult, and a bit costly, because it’s such an old doll, but we should be able to take care of it.”</p><p>“Do it.” </p><p>“Come back in a week.”</p><p>“How much is it?”</p><p>“Likely around two-hundred. So long as you’re alright with that, bring it when you come pick up the doll. If you don’t show up, or you don’t have the payment, we’ll keep the doll.”</p><p>“I’ll be back.” Ranmaru would promise. “C’mon.” </p><p>“Thank you.” Tokiya would bow his head a bit at the man, but he’d follow Ranmaru out. “Are you sure you want to pick the doll back up?” Tokiya’s eyebrows would furrow. </p><p>“Yeah. I… shit, this is gonna sound sappy.” Ranmaru would sigh. “I really think it was tryin’ ‘t help me.”</p><p>“Didn’t it nearly kill you?”</p><p>“Yeah. If it would’a gone through with it. Dunno if it would’ve or not. Maybe. But I think it was pissed that I was pushing you away. I was willfully keepin’ myself lonely when I didn’t haft’a be. I bought the doll because the lady was talkin’ about how lonely it was, and I think that I was supposed to buy it. Or maybe this is all bullshit.” Ranmaru would shrug. “I can tell ya I don’t think we’d have gotten together without it.” His voice is a bit dry.</p><p>“It does seem to be leaving you alone. So long as you want it back, I guess it can’t be a bad thing.” Tokiya would squeeze Ranmaru’s hand. “I’m certainly not disappointed that we’re together.”</p><p>“Yeah. Neither am I.” </p><p>A week later, Ranmaru would have returned to the shop with three hundred. Just to make sure that he had enough. It would end up being around one fifty. </p><p>“He was a surprisingly easy fix.” The man would have handed the doll to Ranmaru in a box. Tokiya was working today, unfortunately, so Ranmaru was alone in picking him up. Ranmaru would have taken it. “And I can’t say I want him in my shop any longer. I’m surprised you came to pick him up.” </p><p>“He’s a real piece ‘a work. But he’s a good doll.” Ranmaru would assure. “Thanks.” </p><p>The man would simply nod, though his expression is a bit harsh. Ranmaru would leave the shop, and he’d make his way home. He’s careful, taking the doll out. </p><p>It’s very pretty, without any of the cracks. The eyes are still glassy, and a bit too sharp, but they seem less… dead. Less bitter. </p><p>“Not so alone anymore, huh, ‘lil buddy?” Ranmaru would mumble, quirking an eyebrow. “Hayato.” Ranmaru would mumble. “Might as well as give ya a name, huh? Gonna be here for a while.” </p><p>Ranmaru would put him on the shelf in his room. </p><p>Later that night, he would have woken himself up, just a bit. His arm is wrapped around Tokiya’s waist, and Tokiya is asleep, but Ranmaru sees the man- Hayato, standing in the door frame. </p><p>He looks even more like Tokiya, with none of the deep cracks. With the brighter, lifelike eyes. </p><p>The light in the hallway is on- but Hayato is standing in, waiting in the doorway. </p><p>Hayato would smile.</p>
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